The day I learned to fold a fitted sheet...
I had a friend’s Mom once show me how to properly fold a fitted sheet… it was magical… but then I got amnesia and forgot how to do it. So now every time I have to fold them I lose my salvation in swear words and just give up in the struggle…
It was in the middle of a wrestle recently where I got to thinking about how life can be a fitted sheet (just stay with me, I promise it’ll make sense!)
I think human nature tells us to make sure that our ducks are in a row before we show the world our collection. Make sure you have it all together before you take a risk!
What if that business deal doesn’t go through? What if you put all of your money and resources into a dream and it goes sideways and you lose everything? What if you ask that person out and they reject you? What if you tell someone a part of your story and they decide that they don’t want to continue in relationship with you?
Sometimes I think we just need to flip the narrative:
What if you don’t take a risk in that business and you miss the opportunity to do something that brings you life? What if you don’t chase that dream and are left wondering if you ever would’ve been successful in it?What if that part of your story was meant to help save that persons life? What if that part of the story helps them to know they aren’t alone in their struggle? What if you allow fear to be the driver of your life and you never really experience pure, saturated abundant joy?
For so long I thought it was wrong to admit the positive things in my life; Like, if I agree with the beautiful parts of who I am, it makes me prideful and conceited. I can’t tell people that my love language is gifts because people may get the wrong idea about me. I can’t think of myself as funny because then I’m conceited in my thought process. I can’t believe that I’m beautiful because it means that I’m focusing on myself instead of others. The truth of the matter is that there is a difference between fully accepting, agreeing and embracing who you are and aggressively throwing it in peoples faces. Mark 12:31 tells us to “love our neighbour as ourselves” and for so long I got caught up in the “but I don’t really love myself!” part of it and completely missed the point. The point of loving your neighbour as yourself is to love them despite flaws and all. To truly accept them the way that they come; just as Christ has loved us. You may never be able to fold a fitted sheet perfectly, (unless you’re my friends Mom who could fold circles around me) but that’s okay. There may always be some wrinkles in it. Maybe it’ll always just be a ball of crap that you throw into the linen closet until the time it’s needed. The fitted sheets job is not to be folded perfectly and lay in your closet, it’s job is to hug tightly to the corners of your bed. Your life is not meant to be perfect with every corner folded precisely and perfectly and everything lined up according to standards that you didn’t choose. Your life may never really look the way you want it to. Your ducks may never be in a row. And that’s okay. You may make mistakes, hurt people, say stupid things, embarrass yourself and have to humbly ask for forgiveness for what feels like the millionth time- but here is the reality- you are getting better.
Self love is so vital, but can I just challenge our thinking in one area? (please don’t stone me for this)
Self love means that you love yourself enough to do hard things. To not allow yourself to stay stuck in self pity. To do the things that make you a better human. To make the hard decisions. Apologize when you have done something wrong. To get up early and go to the gym because it make YOU feel better. To spend time with people who challenge you, push you to be a better person. To ask people the hard questions like “when I did that and hurt you, what could I have done different?” To take the time to be alone, because you cannot be content with a significant other until you are content being alone. Self love isn’t giving yourself an excuse to shut yourself off from the world completely because you’ve been hurt. Self love is saying; I am beautiful, I am funny, I am good at loving people, I am good at pursuing people, I am a mess right now but I will do what it takes to get myself to a place where I can be who I need to be so that I can be who I’ve been created to be. It’s loving yourself a healthy amount so that you can successfully go out and love others.